Someone shit on the floor
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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