I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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