Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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