look no pants
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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