I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
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Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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