how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
