Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
