omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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