I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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