Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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