So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Four minutes until I can fart!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
