if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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