I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
