I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
