i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize