ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
