if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
