Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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