so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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