I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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