i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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