Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
