erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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