I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize