ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
