did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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