woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
