singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
