Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
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He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
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And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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