dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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