i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
