If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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