My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
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can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
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I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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