How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
