What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
