yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
