there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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