I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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