i think my mom watched the whole time
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
