So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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