your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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