turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have post one night stand depression
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