Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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