I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
