Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
