last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
