DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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