batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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