If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
