I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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