covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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