I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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