I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
