How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
