I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize