Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize