their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
