if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
