I just saw a hot homeless man
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
